So I’ve been told many times that i think too much! How can you think too much? I mean thinking is what brains are for! But I know what they mean. I overthink, ruminate, question and wonder and that’s what keeps me awake at night because quite often its all the negative things that I overthink, question, ruminate and wonder about.
Recently, we lost a close family member at 66 years of age, completely unexpectedly and suddenly. It was a massive blow to us all and perhaps a wake up call, that life is precious and precarious. Its made me question loads of things. For instance: how can a person so alive, with so much character, that touched so many hundreds of people, that did so many worthwhile things, that was the cornerstone of a family, that was so full of knowledge so eagerly imparted, be here one minute and gone the next???
I don’t believe in god or the afterlife – its a lovely idea but like Santa and the tooth fairy, a made up idea, to keep people happy and under control. As for formal religions – just don’t get me started!
Now I’m starting to move on because there are no answers only the here and now. I’ve made a promise to myself to start to live my life to the full. to do things that I’ve been saying I’m going to do and to keep in contact with family and friends that I care about. Most of all I’m going to start to think positively.
My Twitter feed is full of tweets about animal cruelty, Brexit, Trump, the oaf that sits in 10 Downing Street at this moment in time, the antics of the far right and racists, climate change, wars, protests etc etc. I like to be informs of things going on in the world and I think its important that i do whatever I can to support things I believe in – even if its only signing petitions or writing to my MP or donating to charity (I always investigate the charity first though to see where my money goes). But I am not going to get bogged down with it all. there’s loads of good going on in the world too.
So today as I walked with one of my best friends – my dog Tetley – I let the wind and rain wash over my face and was glad of it. When the sun came out and spread its rays through the leaves of the hundreds of years old trees, I marvelled at the sparkling diamonds on the lake and the wildfowl that swam on it. I sat for a moment and watched fields of golden wheat blowing in the breeze
“and I thought to myself what a wonderful world”.